Personality Development

Personality is our psychological behavior that affects the way handle people around us and the situations we encounter in life. You hear the term; he has a cool personality or he has a high temper personality. Both descriptions attempt to describe the person’s interaction with people and situations.

In order to decide on the best way for personality development it is important to understand what determines our personality in general. In line with this site’s way, we will avoid the theories and academic jargons.

Our Personality is decided by three main factors:

1. Heredity of our genes

2. Our Environment

3. The Situation we handle.

Heredity of our genes.

Heredity of our genes refers to how we were born. The genes we inherit from our biological parents play a big role in our personality and our personality development. Our physical facial attraction, gender, muscle, reflexes, energy levels, hair are all decided in the chromosomes of our genes.

Our Environment.

It is not surprising that the cultures that we grow within play a big role in our personality and personality development. Think of yourself as an example. If you grow in a religion related culture, your principles in life would be different to a person who grows up in an non-religious culture. Your principles, ideology and way of dealing with other might follow what your religion teaches you.

This is different if religion is not part of your culture where you tend to gauge right and wrong based on other factors that are taught in religions. An interesting theory of personality development shows that the first born child in a family is more concerned with social acceptance, more ambitious, more hardworking, more cooperative, more dependent, more prone to guilt feelings, prone to anxiety, and less aggressive that the second and third child of the same family. This is another evidence of the effect of our environment on our personality development. You would also notice a certain behavior associated with certain cultures and nationalities.

The Situation we handle.

The above two factors of our personality equation might give “stereo typing” people a breathing space. However, it is not meant to should they consider the third factor in our personality development; the situation we handle. This is because no matter what is the culture you were raised within and the genes you have, you personality development can improve if you handle the situation in a well educated manner. By this we mean that no matter who you are, you can be trained to handle the same situation in the same way that another person who has different genes and cultural background handles the same situation.

"Personal development is the deliberate growth or development of a particular individual to bring out their potential and capabilities making them more aware of their inner feelings, belief systems to become a more conscious, whole or healthy human being".

I know that probably seems like a mouthful but it seemed to encompass my own thoughts about what personal development is. I decided to ask my partner to offer a definition:

"Strategies that enable me to enhance my life in all areas"

Now I do like this definition because it says what it is, simply and succinctly. The thing about personal development, is that it means different things to different people. When someone embarks on the journey of personal development, it maybe that they have chosen to improve their health, relationships, career prospects, finances etc. Sometime people talk about the mind, body and spirit, or physical, emotional and spiritual.

So how do you get started on the road to personal development? Well, first of all become aware of what you already have in your life and what you are grateful for and then think about what is missing, what do you want, I mean really want. Awareness has to come first, because without an awareness there can be no conscious decision to take action. Becoming aware also means asking yourself different questions and then seeking out the answers. So if your question is "There must be more to life than this?" your mind is already making an assumption that there is more to life and as if by magic you start to see things around you that maybe you did not notice before.

Below I have put together my top 10 strategies that I use regularly to keep myself motivated. As a bonus I contacted some of my friends within the personal development field and asked them to give me their top 3 personal development books and created a top 10 list. I hope this helps you to get started.

1. Take time everyday to do something for yourself. This is so fundamental. Many people go through their day giving of themselves to other people, their job etc. and don't have time for themselves. Even if you give yourself 15 minutes, that is time with yourself to reflect and focus on the most important person in your life, YOU.

2. Read or listen to personal development material. You must find time to learn about personal development to read or listen to positive and inspirational messages. You could use the 15 minutes put by for yourself to read a chapter of a book. If you drive, put in a tape or CD, this is making use of net (no extra time) time.

3. Decide what you really want to do and do it. Often we think about what we want to do and make excuses as to why we can't do it. The reality is that the time we have taken to think up excuses as to why we can't do something, we could have done it. What have you been putting off doing? Take this opportunity to do it, clear out the clutter. Once you have done it there is space in your mind to think about other things.

4. Do not be afraid of making a mistake. You will only achieve success from doing. In history many brilliant ideas have come about because of a mistake. Don't let fear of failure stop you from doing what you want.

5. Do not put off making a decision because you are afraid it may be the wrong one. Nothing is gained by sitting on the fence. So the sooner you make a decision, even if it is the wrong one, the sooner you can make the right one. Practise being decisive.

6. Keep a journal recording your thoughts, ideas, feelings and personal growth. Keeping a journal is a great way of measuring your progress. Looking back at your journey. It is also a great source of material for any projects you hope to do in the future. If one of your dreams is to write a book, why not start with jotting down ideas in a journal.

7. Be flexible and willing to change your approach if things are not working. Sometimes when you set your mind to do something, with a set plan, things don't always go smoothly. Remember that as long as you are clear about your destination, you can always change your route, it may take you longer, but as long as you get there in the end.

8. Visualise your goals on a daily basis. Better still put up pictures of your goals so that you can see them on waking up and going to bed. Our minds respond better to pictures than words.

9. Get yourself and elastic band and put it around your wrist. Make sure it fits loosely. Every time you find yourself thinking a negative thought pull the elastic band and let go so that it snaps back onto your wrist. Yes, it will hurt. That is the whole idea. Keep this up for the next 30 days and notice what happens.

10. Celebrate your achievements. Award yourself for any progress that you make because you deserve it.